Never Again
by drarryderps
Summary: SPOILER, SUM. CHANGE: Back in his grasps, Cesare refuses to let go of Chiaro. Never again would he be alone, never again would he ache for the blond's touches! For his light! Never again would the dreams haunt him, leading him through a never ending path.
1. Chapter 1

**A/n:** Instead of working on my other fics, I work on this. Hee hee. I just felt BAD! D: I mean the Archive has so LITTLE. And I'm completely and utterly OBSESSED with Cantarella! I've only read up to volume 7! D: I want vols 8 & 9! Hell! I'm pleading with the librarian that buys manga for the library to get the volumes! D: I WANT IT!!!

**Warning:** Shounen-ai. Mild Cursing.

**Disclaimer:** I have no association with Higuri You or the company that produces '_Cantarella_.' .. I WISH I KNEW HER! D:

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Chapter 1: Bruised

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His body ached. It ached with a large bruise that spread on his chest. It throbbed and pulsed with pain. He tried to move his limbs but it only acted in making his bruise throb more. A silent groan escaped his lips as he opened his eyelids slightly. The ceiling was engulfed with a dark shadow that loomed over it. Only pale streaks of light intruded. Created from the flickering candles that sat around and the glowing moon that floated with the glittering stars. He turned his head slightly to look at the window.

His breath was taken away with the sight that he saw before him. His partner and closest friend stood at the window. The moon's rays shone onto Cesare, making him glow this angelic glow. A soft breeze blew in and his hair wavered in the air. His body leaned on the window ledge, his elbow propped up onto the ledge so his chin could rest on his palm. His other arm lingered in the air and is fingers ran through his hair. His eyes were narrowed slightly. Making him look as if he was in deep thought. Which Chiaro didn't doubt that Cesare, indeed, was in deep thought.

It was a magnificent sight of pure beauty. Chiaro watched with his half lidded eyes as Cesare stayed in that position a little while longer before turning around and walking towards the bed that he rested in. He watched as Cesare kneeled down beside his bed and took his left hand between his own. He watched as his hand was brought to touch Cesare's cheek and as he sighed a sigh of relief and satisfaction.

Cesare closed his eyes and breathed in the deep scent that could only belong to his one and only. He pressed Chiaro's palm against his cheek and relaxed at the warmth that he was given. A quilt of warmth and safety wrapped around his head, repelling the dark forces. Something only the dead Vanozza and the alive Chiaro could do. He relinquished in this feeling of pure peace, something he felt only around Chiaro. Even Vanozza could never make his heart quiver and his mind calm as well as Chiaro.

His eyes opened and he peeked up at Chiaro who laid there, sleeping peacefully. Not noticing the half lidded eyes that watched him from under the golden bangs. Locking his fingers with Chiaro's, he stood up and continued to hold Chiaro's hand to his cheek. He looked down and watched Chiaro's peaceful face. He didn't notice the pain that jolted from Chiaro's body and Chiaro's body was to weak and hurt to create a sound for him to utter. He laid there helplessly watching his dark haired friend watch him from above.

Bending down, he gently placed Chiaro's arm to be laid beside him. His fingers drew up and traced the blonde's face. The tips of his index finger traced the outline of his reddish-pink lips and brought it up to trace over his own after. His lips ached to press against Chiaro's. To feel the softness he'd felt only a couple of times before. Chiaro was back now and there were plenty of chances for him to do so. Especially this perfect chance when Chiaro was still in slumber.

But, no. He wouldn't do such a thing. It wasn't right. He wasn't desperate anymore. What if Chiaro wakes up in the middle? Chiaro already knew of his aching and longing heart. Doing such a thing after being rejected was ridiculous. It was desperate and weak. He didn't and wouldn't do such a thing. Even though his heart and body longed and ached, being disliked by Chiaro was too much of a risk. His heart throbbed at the thought of Chiaro hating him. That thought was just so painful.

"Do...it..." Chiaro's voice whispered, coarse and scratched from his bruised body. Curse those knights for beating him.

"W-what?!" Cesare gasped, eyes widened with surprise as his body sprang upward to stand straight.

"Kiss...me..." Chiaro replied, turning his head to look at Cesare.

That small movement sent a slight jolt of pain through his body. His body ached. It hurt so much to talk. It was as if rocks scratched at his throat, penetrating the skin and digging deep and scarring. His eyelids were heavy with tiredness, threatening to close any second. They lowered more, his eyelashes making everything blurrier. His mind started hazing with tiredness, pain shooting through his body from his attempts to speak.

"Kiss...me..." he repeated, drawling out his words.

Cesare stood there, frozen. Was this a dream? Was Chiaro really letting him kiss him?! This HAS to be a dream, right?! Didn't Chiaro like GIRLS?! Girls like Lucrenzia? Not guys. No. Not GUYS. Right? Cesare dug his nails into his arm, pinching himself. He bit his bottom lip. This was no dream. This was REALLY happening. He walked closer to the bed and leaned down. His hair fell beside his face, curtaining them in dark locks. Hiding the sight.

The sight of their locked lips.

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**A/n:** Don't worry little Cantarella fans, this ain't a cliff-hanger'ed oneshot. Though it is a cliff-hanger'ed chapter...THERE SHALL BE MORE:D I'm such a bad person. :3 I should be working on my other fics. :P Ohs wells. 


	2. Chapter 2

**A/n:** I finally read 8 & 9 a whole ago! LIKE YAY!! I can't WAIT for Volume 10 to come out! XD

**Warning:** Yaoi. Slash. **_SPOILERS!_**

**Disclaimers:** I am no association to Higuri-sensei or Go! Comi.

Chapter 2: Kisses

Cesare curled up next to Chiaro, his face placed near the crook of Chiaro's neck. Soft snores emanated from his thin lips as he slept. A thin blanket covered their clothed bodies as the stars twinkled above. Chiaro watched as Cesare's hair rustled slightly from the breeze that came in through the window. He wanted so badly to hold the dark haired boy in his arms, but it caused to much pain to move. Then again...

...he was short of one arm. The arm on the side that Cesare was sleeping on. His right arm was long gone and he missed it. With it, he could've been able to hold Cesare. But he can't, not when there's nothing to hold him with. It was only a few hours after their kiss. Their first real and legitimate kiss, and both of them had ached to continue. But alas, the wounds on Chiaro's scarred body stopped them. It would've been impossible for them to make love without re-opening Chiaro's fresh wounds.

"Hngm..." Cesare grunted, his fingers clutching the empty sleeve of Chiaro's shirt.

His eyebrows knitted together in worry as he watched Cesare grunt and groan in his sleep. Ignoring the furious shots of pain, he slowly moved his arm and placed it onto Cesare's head. He bit his bottom lip, his teeth breaking through the skin and blood seeped out slowly. It trailed down his jaw and onto his neck, but he ignored the cold feeling as a soft breeze blew through the window. He moved his fingers gently and stroked the dark locks as best as he can. He watched as the demons that surrounded Cesare's head dissipated into nothing.

He licked his lips and gulped down a mix of his saliva and his blood and parted his lips to whisper Cesare's name. He whispered and stroked the black locks and watched as the boy calmed down from whatever he was dreaming of. His eyelids fluttered open and revealed golden eyes that shimmered from the moonlight that shone through. Chiaro's fingers continued to stroke Cesare and blood continued to trail down.

"Chiaro!" Cesare jumped, seeing the blood that trailed down the blond's lips.

Chiaro's arm fell limply against the bed and laid there, unmoving. Cesare stared at the blood that trailed tainted the otherwise clear skin. Bending down he parted his lips and his used his tongue to lap up the blood. Starting from the neck, his tongue licked away the blood and left the remains of his own saliva in replacement. He moved up and licked away the blood from the jaw and moved to his chin. Licking at the edge of Chiaro's lips, he blushed deeply at where this was going. But nonetheless, he continued and licked the blood from Chiaro's lips. He sucked at it, drinking the sweet blood that seeped out.

Chiaro groaned in pleasure. Having Cesare's tongue go all over him was so exotic. It was driving him crazy how he couldn't hold the boy down and ravish him with kisses all over his thin body. He inwardly frowned as Cesare lifted his head and licked at his own lips, licking away any blood that could have rubbed onto him. He covered his mouth as he continued to blush and watch the blond. Moving back, he accidently placed his arse onto Chiaro's arm and noticed immediately the odd bump that was on the bump.

Jumping away, he his feet got tangled in the sheets and he fell off the bed and blushed even deeper at the un-elegant moves that he has just made. He scrambled to stand up and kiss Chiaro's arm in an effort to apologize to the blond for his clumsiness. Chiaro's pain subsided as he watched his friend kiss each finger. He watched as Cesare's lips moved up to his palm and kissed and licked, tickling him from the contact on the sensitive skin. He watched as the kisses moved upward and got gentler over the wounds.

Cesare's lips trailed up and eventually got to Chiaro's left shoulder. Cesare gently placed Chiaro's arm back to his left side as Chiaro groaned in pain from the movements. Cesare frowned, angry with himself. His shoulder's sagged with the guilt that he was the reason that Chiaro was in so much pain. Tears were fighting to fall as the weight of guilt weighed down onto his heart. It throbbed has he regretted hurting his blond angel. His finger tips brushed against Chiaro's cheek, saddened eyes watching the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

"I'm sorry", he breathed, tears on the edge of falling, "I'm sorry I let them hurt you this far."

**A/n:** Hahahahaha...!!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/n: **I actually thought this chapter out....a little. O_O

**Warning:** Yaoi. Slash. _Spoilers._

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Cantarella. I'm one of those little freaks that are desperately waiting for volume 11. ._.;; I WANTS IT. DX

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**Chapter 3**: Angel

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Time passed by minutes.

Time passed by hours.

Time passed by days.

Time passed by nights.

Time passed by weeks.

Time passed by months.

The basic gist was that time had passed. And with passing time came healing wounds. Physical ones at least. Soon, bandages had been unwrapped, uncovering scarred skin. Bones had been mended and movement was instilled in him.

Chiaro sighed. He had been confined in the properties of his room for days. It was hard for him to walk once more among others. He still had days to go before he could, once again, stand on his own. Before he could, once again, run with the wind. Before he could, once again, grasp objects.

Before he could, once again, serve Cesare.

He sighed, turning his head to the left so he could peer out the window. He reveled in the fact that it didn't hurt anymore when he moved. He closed his eyes and listened to the birds that chirped on their branches, singing songs in words that humans could never understand. He listened to the chatter of people that walked by the room door and of the people that walked outside. He listened to the clanging of swords as they clashed during training, listening to the grunting that followed as well. He turned his head and listened as the door opened and voices drifted through it's opening, words muffled by distance and words forced to murmur. He listened as the door closed quietly and to the soft tapping of shoes. He opened his eyes and let them absorb the site of dark brown locks framing a pale jawline is waves. Red lips stood out under a thin nose which bridged to lips from the dark orbs known as eyes.

And with the sun flowing through the curtain and shining onto the man he saw before him, Chiaro swore, albeit briefly, that an angel had come for him. An angel of death. Titled for the poisonous blood that coursed through his body!

But no. This was no angel of death. It was an angel, alright. An angel in his eyes as well as the populace that surrounded them. But this angel sinned knowingly and continued doing so. Things that angels were not meant to do. Things that angels were never fathomed to have done. Things that angels would never have done in their minds. But as Chiaro blinked and continued to stare as the angel before him came closer, he realized that those beliefs were all wrong. The person— this ANGEL before him showed him otherwise.

He watched as his angel, his dark demonic angel known as Cesare, came closer and kneeled beside him. He felt warmth spread through his body as long fingers entangled themselves into his blond locks. And he smiled when his fingers caressed Cesare's chin and brought a wide angelic smile that could awaken the dead in a matter of seconds. He felt his heart ache as Cesare dug his cheek deeper into his palm and as those before mentioned fingers gripped at his hair.

"Cesare...come closer..." he demanded, his voice cracked and shallow from the lack of use.

He had, after all, been locked and confined in this room for months now. The only person Cesare would allow to communicate with the blond was the medic, on those occasions where his wounds needed a checking, and Cesare himself. He wasn't allowed to leave the room. Not like he could at first, but when he became able again, guards had been posted at his door and kept watch. He felt saddened at the loss of communication and freedom, but it would be forgotten once his guilt set in when Cesare would visit him. His dark eyes looking like broken glass and his lips quivering with unmentioned pain.

And ever since he became able again, Cesare wouldn't even sit on his bedside.

Chiaro would question him on that, he missed the physical affection Cesare showed him. Even if it was a little over the line, it was the most human contact he would get for ages. But Cesare would brush him off and stand up, asking over his shoulder of he needed anything. After this constant act of ask-and-ignore, Chiaro had just _given up_. Cesare was acting childishly and they both knew it. Cesare just wouldn't admit to it.

Chiaro watched in anticipation as Cesare pondered whether he should get closer to the blond. Chiaro let his fingers trace Cesare's jawline as he waited for the brunette's answer. Finally determining himself to resist any temptation he would get if when he got near Chiaro, Cesare lifted himself closer to Chiaro, placing his hands palm down against the mattress, inches away from Chiaro's chest. He felt disappointed, slightly, as Chiaro's fingers were forced to slide down his face and descend onto his side. Chiaro's fingers moved until they reached Cesare's carefully propped hands.

He wrapped his fingers around the thin pale wrist and lifted it enough so his fingers could crawl underneath, his nails poking at the soft flesh of palm before doing so successfully. Cesare's body tensed and froze as Chiaro forced their fingers to entwine, making Cesare's body angle lopsidedly. Chiaro's green eyes bore into the dark purple of Cesare's own eyes, locking him in a gaze. Utilizing this opportunity of Cesare letting his guard down, he jerked his hand, the one entwined with Cesare's and pulled the brunette's body on top of him. He grunted unfavorably at the impact as Cesare's elbow was jabbed into his hip but quickly used this moment of shock to pull him closer.

He wrapped his arms around Cesare's waist as best as he could and tugged pitifully, trying to pull him up with strength lost from months of laying in bed. He was jerked forward slightly when the brunette tried to spring up and get as far away from the blond as possible. His guard finally back up and his mind letting out a stream of curses at himself. Chiaro was reluctant to let go of Cesare, as the brunette stumbled backwards. His hands covered his face as he backed up into a wall and felt his knees buck together under him. Chiaro grabbed at air, wanting to reach to the brunette that seemed to be plagued with pain.

"Please...Hold me...Let me...hold you...!" Chiaro pleaded, his voice cracking as he felt a clench at his heart.

He wanted this. He wanted the brunette to be closer. He knew that if the brunette was closer, than those clustered of black of leave him. Even if temporarily, it would do the brunette good to be close to him. He bit his bottom lip and let his pain be expressed in his eyes. He could see them, those black clusters were clinging to Cesare. They whispered omens and horrible deeds, tugging at the brunette's conscience and taunting him to betray his own morals and rationality. Chiaro wanted them gone.

Throwing the covers to the side, he pushed himself up so he could sit up with his feet touching the ground. Forcing himself onto two feet, he stumbled and used his opened arms to help balance himself. But alas, luck wasn't with him at that moment him as he lost balance and fell to the ground. Grunting, he knew he couldn't get back up and decided to crawl. And so he did, choosing to believe that that was his only choice. He crawled. He crawled and locked eyes with Cesare's dark ones, gritting his teeth at the pain he saw etched into them. Horror was themed on his angelic features and Chiaro decided he hated that as well.

Getting close enough so his outstretched hand would make contact with Cesare's knee, he grabbed it. He grinned, more to himself than to anyone else, as he watched the black demons that clung to that area immediately disperse. The black clusters seemed to have clung even closer to Cesare and he felt his anger and dislike grow stronger. He didn't want anything to touch Cesare, his angel should only be touched by purity, not the damned! Crawling as fast as he could, he finally got close enough to hoist himself onto his knees in front of Cesare.

Grabbing his wrists, Chiaro forcefully pulled Cesare's arms away from his face, marveling at how little strength the brunette had put into covering himself. Was his guard let down that much? Chiaro didn't ponder that and decided to disregard it completely, finding the need to hold Cesare closer an action that was needed to be done. Pushing himself forward, he let his body cover Cesare's and wrapped his arms around the ex-cardinal's neck, digging his face into his silky brown locks.

"No...Please...If you...I'll do some—Chiaro!" Cesare whined, trying to push the blond away.

"Hush, calm...down. Let me...hold you", Chiaro demanded, stroking his hair, "I...want to."

Chiaro reveled in the feeling of Cesare's limbs fighting less and less until it eventually stopped. Fingers dug into the rich fabric of his clothes, clinging to him like the black demons on Cesare. He smiled to himself as he felt the whimpers from the brunette, admitting defeat by pouting.

"I want to...So let me...Cesare", Chiaro mumbled, pulling the brunette closer.

"Chiaro!" Cesare whined, clinging to him, "Why? _Why?_ After what I--?!"

"Shhh, that's...the past," Chiaro answered, one of his hands wondering low enough to stroke the brunette's back.

"But..._why?!_" Cesare exclaimed, not understanding.

"I...deserved it. I'm the betrayer...afterall."

"I...Chiaro..." Cesare moaned, digging his face into the blond's chest.

"Shhh....I'm right...here...." Chiaro mumbled, "...Right here...Cesare..."

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**A/n:** Ignore the crappiness. I think I BS'd half of this. XD This whole fic is fluff by the way. It shall get a little serious, but not much. ;D

Un-edited. Check later!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/n:** I really need to focus on this fandom more. xDD Especially since Higuri-sensei is supposed to have already picked it back up. 3 But then, the Harry Potter fandom is kidnapping me. D8 Tom Felton is just Tom Felton.

**Warning:** Male-slash. Possible spoilers. Post volume 10.

**Disclaimer:** I do not claim any rights to _Canterella_ nor I claim any association with the company that produces the manga.

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Chapter 4: Unthinkable

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Chiaro watched as Cesare moved away from him, arms wrapped tightly around his torso as the brunette turned to give the blond one last lingering glance before leaving. Cesare's gaze was so heartbreaking; so _hollow_. But Chiaro could find absolutely no remorse or any guilt for his actions, it was the right thing to do. It's not as if he could let those blasted demons continue to plague his angel any longer, it was just impossible to just lay there and watch as they corrupted Cesare!

--

He groaned and cursed the heavens for his great luck. Chiaro really didn't mind when Cesare put up a guard to watch over him inside the room, something Cesare started doing with it became easier for the blond to move around more. In fact, he quite enjoyed it since they weren't allowed to converse with him and it was really fun to annoy them by talking about nothing important. Or jabbing at them about something, whether it was because they were too short or because they had a large wart, it was all in good fun. It was even better when the guard would finally break down and they got into little arguments. And then, watching Cesare storm in when he heard the arguing and reprimanding the guard loudly for breaking his rules and nearly firing the man, was just as amusing if not more. Cesare looked adorable when he was angry and Chiaro was more than delighted to be able to watch Cesare yell at the guards.

And when the brunette would turn smoldering eyes to glare down at the blond, it was just exquisite. To see the emotion, the life that exuded from Cesare's face, excited Chiaro with an emotion that he couldn't describe. It uplifted his spirits, because it meant that Cesare still had that side of him that only Chiaro got to see. The Cesare's heart was intact, even if it was failing; broken—even, it mean that it was still _there_. And that was what Chiaro looked forward to, craved to know. Because, he knew, once the brunette lost his heart, the last piece to his humanity was forever gone. And it wasn't something the blond would ever desire or want; it was something unfathomable and unthinkable, and he'd never want it to be _thinkable._

But then, Volpe being his current new guard was something unthinkable; unfathomable, too.

Volpe _hated_ Chiaro, that he knew quite well. He disliked the man as well, never liking the dirty and angry looks the man would give him when Cesare seemed to favorite Chiaro rather than him. Cesare knew it too and it was probably the reason why Volpe had been chosen as Chiaro's new guard, because the man was far more composed than the guards and would ignore him out of his loyalty for the brunette. Out of his own craving for the brunette's praise and acceptance, because he is far better than the guards. It still wouldn't get him a spot higher than Chiaro in Cesare's Top Priority list, that Chiaro knew and he pitied the man for trying when he knew that same fact as well.

Still, it didn't make him warm up any to the fact that the man was now responsible for Chiaro. At the least, Volpe wouldn't _dare_ mark Chiaro in any way, knowing that would rack up to mean death when it came to Cesare. The brunette was really quite possessive when it came to the blond, something Chiaro planned to gloat in Volpe's face about, something he looked forward to, once the brunette would leave! Though, watching Cesare wasn't something the assassin was opposing, quite liking the view of the brunette's nice behind, Cesare's back turned to him. He looked up and grinned a satisfied expression at Volpe's way before returning his eyes back to the brunette. Frowning slightly when the sight he was enjoying was taken from him as Cesare turned to walk and get closer to him, though, he couldn't complain about this either. Especially with the slight tint of pink in Cesare's cheeks. Even as the brunette tried vainly, Chiaro could still see the slight pout that pulled at the corner of Cesare's lips and felt himself grin sheepishly as his mind could only _wonder_ what the cause of such a blush could be!

"You! You better behave while I'm gone," Cesare berated, jutting his hip and placing his hands on them, "I'll be damned if I have to find a new guard for you!"

"It's was just simple banter!" Chiaro scoffed, closing his eyes and pouting, "It's not like it was anything serious!"

"I **specifically** told them not to talk to you," Cesare growled, narrowing his eyes at the blond, "You heard me but still egged them on."

Chiaro pouted and opened his eyes to stare innocently at Cesare, hoping to God that the brunette would fall for his expression. Cesare didn't and only scowled. Chiaro kept his expression still, not wanting to be defeated.

"I was bored, you can't blame me if I want some conversation," Chiaro said, trying his best to not bring up the subject of his captivity, it simply wasn't the right time, "You're not always here and it's always so boring otherwise!"

Cesare's expression softened slightly at the second part of Chiaro's statement, before hardening once more as he knew that Chiaro was only trying to sweet talk him. Scoffing, he shook his head, his brown locks shaking along.

"Just behave! I better not hear otherwise," he demanded and stormed out before Chiaro could retaliate.

Chiaro sighed and slumped against the headboard, a small smile playing at his lips. He marveled at how adorable Cesare could still be, despite already reaching his 20s and his other benevolent side. _The child within always exists_, doesn't it? Even for a man like Cesare, as calculating and cunning as he may be.

Chiaro felt his heart warm.

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**A/n:** Aah, something light to intercept into the dark atmosphere this story mostly has. :D

Onwards! Chiaro gets to annoy Volpe. Who wants thiiis~~?


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